I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
