TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
