problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
