just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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