You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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