I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
