I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
