this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
