Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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