How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
