Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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