i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Found your dick twin last night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
