butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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