That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
we should paint friendship bongs
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