if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
