im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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