Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
