WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
