I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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