then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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