Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
