OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
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