how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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