Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You are the jesus of drinking
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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