the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize