whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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