I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You were trust falling into bushes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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