her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
