may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
