New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
