butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
