we have officially lost it.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
