I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
