there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize