theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize