Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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