I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
