If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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