Having a random hookup so left but love u
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
