HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my shit smells like andre
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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