Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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