Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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