I skipped work to stalk him.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
