i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
