I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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