P.S. I can't hear my feet
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
