next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
