I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
