Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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