she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
