Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
