she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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