Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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