If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
