I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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