cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we're making bets on your personal life
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
