Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
