Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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