Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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